Yesterday, I was talking both on Facebook, and with the man, about my productivity and measurements thereof.
I think I go through this semi-regularly, so you know, it's also very likely that I'm neurotic.
Last week, I wrote about 5,000 words for Book Three of Rainbow Connections and I've already done almost 4,000 for this week.
It never seems like enough, somehow. I always feel like I'm slacking off, I'm not working hard enough, I'm not publishing enough. I'm lazy, worthless, an impostor. I swear, I have impostor syndrome that's so active it ought to have its own secret identity.
So, I'm going over this with the man last night, generally bitching about my lack of productivity. He's sitting there on the sofa watching me with that little smirk like he does when he knows I'm being ridiculous, which - for whatever reason - tends to goad me into longer bouts of self-hatred. It's like I want to prove to him that I'm serious, that any rational adult would run screaming rather than being in a relationship with me.
At the same time, I am aware that I'm being ridiculous.
I may have issues.
After I wrapped up my rant - he didn't say a word, not really - I decided to check email before going to bed.
If you don't know where this is going, it's because you're unfamiliar with dramatic irony (not the Alanis Morissette version, which is just unpleasant coincidence and not irony at all...)
I had an email from my publisher, containing a contract for A Marked Man and A Wanted Woman.
Because, you know, publishing 2 novels a year isn't enough for me.
Contract signed. As usual, you'll know more when I know.
Rough draft 'blurb and tagline
His word is his bond; will a beautiful warrior force him to destroy himself to keep his vow?
Bastian Hooke, known to the underworld as Mace, is an assassin and a thief. He was the last person expected to carry out great deeds. But comes the Seeress with her prophecy and a sack of gemstones, and Bastian finds himself thrown headfirst into a quest he cannot possibly understand. Sought by a dark sorcerer, surrounded by secrets and lies on all sides, he is charged with the protection of the last of the dragonslayers... the very last thing he meant to do was fall in love.
Catreen An'dello has been divorced from her soul for ten years. Betrayed by her former lover to the dragon, imprisoned inside a living statue and nearly driven mad, she wishes nothing more than to forget. Desperate to ease her guilt and soothe her pain, Catreen drives a demon's bargain with the man who saved her soul.
Can an assassin and a dragonslayer find the strength of will to save the kingdom from destruction?